GVK One Mall (GVK 1 Mall)

Lanka, Troy, The Lonely Mountains - the journey to the most wonderful destinations is fraught with peril – but, if you've managed to dodge the whizzing bikes, live past the short path from the circle bang opposite GVK One's gate to said gate, navigate through the labyrinthine parking area, and sort out the confusing elevator layout; you'll see that GVK One is worth it.

As soon as you enter the gate, you're faced with the glass-and-chrome structure of the main mall, with the box office to the right, and the ubiquitous CCD outlet to the left. If it is the iconic Hard Rock Café that you seek, follow the giant guitar.

Right from its ginormogantic edifice, to the swanky cars you'll find jamming the way to the parking at any given time of the day, GVK One personifies its uptown location. Once the suitably-dour security personnel are done violating your body (read: frisking), there is sheer designer goodness to be had, or, perhaps more accurately, beheld.

The mall has a store directory that reads like the average teenager's bucket list, with every floor perfectly distributed with all kinds of consumables, meaning, nearly every floor has its assortment of stores for apparel, accessories, and ammunition to keep you going to the next storey, and to recover the fluid lost from drooling at the shop windows.

So, as the helpful charts next to the elevators (equally helpfully placed right in the middle of the spheroid structure) tell you, GVK One contains a bewildering array of outlets that sell everything from haute couture to medicines to groceries to books to electronics to plush vibrating massage chairs (No kidding. Robotouch, on the 3rd floor, deals entirely in these nests from heaven. They let you try them out too).

Looking to melt some plastic? You can do so at Mango, Aldo, Hidesign, Tommy Hilfiger, DKNY and the seeming legion of other high fashion stores you'd otherwise have to hunt for in flagship stores in Jubilee Hills or beyond. There are also plenty of desi equivalents of these phoren brands, like Mebaz, Satya Paul, Kalanikethan and fab India, where you can splurge your heart out on things you'd otherwise get at half the prices on the streets of Koti.

Want all of this and more under one vast roof? Shopper's Stop awaits you, with ridiculous discounts, if you're lucky.

None of these names means much to you? You're either here to people-watch, or are a hapless accompaniment to a zealous shopaholic. If you're of the former category, you'll have more than your fill to watch. As for those of the latter category, you can lose yourself to the wonderful world of Funzone for a few solid hours. Chances are, your companion still hasn't surfaced from the ocean of consumerism.

A plush multiplex, a pub (the aforementioned Hard Rock Cafe), a classy restaurant (Khaan Saab), and a food court with everything you'll ever have a craving for, round up the prerequisites to any mall worthy of the name.

And, in its locality, GVK One is more than worthy of the name.